One Great Love

There will always be that one person. That one person who will remain in my heart until my very last breath. That one person who will always have a piece of my heart. That one person who changed me and impacted me in a way that I never saw coming.

And no matter how hard I try and no matter how long it’s been, this person will always beat In my chest and breathe in my lungs. I won’t be able to get rid of their ghost and their shadow. I won’t be able to stop them from haunting my daydreams and nightmares. 

But I think it is a beautiful thing.

To know that I was loved by this person. That I was cherished and adored and cared for by this person who shaped me. Who built me. Who transformed me. Who taught me that I was in fact  lovable and who showed me that I was worthy of wonderful and beautiful love.

And even though that person is gone now, even if our love together didn’t last forever, it will still remain inside of my bones and my cells and in my muscle memory. That love will still be so wonderfully alive inside of me.

Because they showed me that you I was magic. They showed me that you was beautiful and capable. Their love taught me that I deserve to be happy with or without them. Their love taught me that I know how to love and be loved back. And that I deserve it.

I cherish the memories and the snapshots in my mind. I reminisce on the glory days where my heart felt full. Let my soul remember that love, and let my soul let that love go.

So no, I won’t ever forget you. I won’t ever forget how you made my heart feel. I will forever be thankful and grateful for you,  you are my ONE GREAT LOVE.

PS.
Happy Birthday!

xx,
JS

My Strong Baby

My Strong Baby

I'm a little scared

I haven't visited by red

I thought twas just okay

I have no clue by the way

 

And what a surprise

I didn't know you're there

All the nurses were happy

To let me know you're in my tummy

I didn't know what to say

Ohh so far, How's your stay

I cried and cried and cried

I'm not sure if your alive or died

I wanted to see and feel you

I looked for a doctor to check on you

I'm excited, I'm nervous

All my emotions were being used

Doctor touched my belly

Told me, it's been 18weeks already

I saw your head and hands

You're whole my little human

You've been so strong

Holding on for very long

And then I heard some noise, 

Like the sound of waves or voice?

He told me, it was you my baby

That was waiting inside my belly

Still puzzled cos I didn't know it

Kept on asking him to tell me bout it

I want to listen to that beautiful music

I love every time I hear it

Listening to it means I created life

Cos it was every beat of your heart

Now I'm aware you're there

I'll take care of you my babybear

So don't worry, I am here

Thank you Lord for Ioving my dear

Found out: Sept 14 2015

Ultrasound: Sept 15 2015

EDD: Feb 14 2016

Love like you gonna lose them

Yes, it's beautiful and magical feeling when you get butterflies in your tummy every time you see the one you admire. It's always nice to have someone to search for, is he/she around? Is he/she going to notice me? Is he/she gonna say hello this time? It's always been a bliss.. It will always feel like the first time. You'll crave for those kilig. First date, first everything. And what more if he/she finally lay his/her eyes on you and said yes and you'll be together. Then day by day, feelings will eventually change. He'll be the most annoying person for you. She won't be as beautiful as she was before. He may say more bad words than sweet. All things will be different. Moments will passed by. Challenges made you. There will always be a time when both of you will be taken for granted by each other. Until the day, one wants to let go, the other still holding on. And tables will turn, one will came out strong and dint mind being alone anymore. We all go through these cycle of love. We all go through ups and downs. Feeling will forever change. So don't ever depend on it. We maybe broken but we can still fix it. It's all about choice. And when we finally realized it's over. It's over for being inconsiderate, neglectful and impatient. When  the perfect time arrives and you forgive him and yourself for all the mistakes you both made. And both of you chose to stay and to continue. You both learned and still want to be together. And this what you call Life. It's a beautiful crazy life. 

Love will always be there if we choose to have it over pride, ego and selfishness. If you went through all of it. If you already lose them and even lose yourself in the process. You need to get up. Think about everything. Weigh all that matters. Decide and choose. 

Relationship is a work in progress. So I think we need to love as if we gonna lose them. Cos that's how we will know their value when they're already gone. 

And if we experienced and survive all of these. Be proud of what have you become and how much experienced you gained. Those will be a good foundation before settling down. Cos It's a constant battle of holding on and letting go, of doing right and wrong, of committing mistakes and forgiving, and being impulsive and understanding each other. And behind all of these struggle, happiness and what not. Only prayers can guide you. So never forget to talk to the person who loves you the most. 

And believe that everything will be okay. 

If it's not okay, it's not yet the end.

Xx,

Kookyberry

"She stood in the storm and the wind did not blow her away. She adjusted her sails."

And I will miss you..

And I will miss you..

I will always miss you and crave for your presence. I will always look for you and wish to be beside you when I want to, when I need you. 

Lowsy, it's gonna be so hard but I know I can do it. I'm sorry for the times that you feel that You don't matter anymore or I don't care for you. It's not true, It will never be. You're the one I only want, like and love. You're special. When I think about love, I just only have you in my mind and my heart. I live for you. I love for you. Things are different now. Things are not blurry, it's clear as the waters from an open sea. I LOVE YOU. 

And Love is a choice, and I choose you. There's no other option, but I still want to choose you. Love is a decision, and I have decided to be with you. 

Love was never a feeling. Cos feelings change and not easily controlled. It is more than a feeling. More than those butterflies in my stomach, more than those love-hate conversation, more than those fairytale and perfect love story, more than those fictional beliefs, more than Romeo and Juliet, or KathNiel or Xagnes. 

I want to love you. Never ending. I love you with all my heart. I love every grumpy face you make, every loud voice I hear. I love how competitive you are, how funny and sarcastic. I love you cos I know you chose me too. You have decided as well to go back to me and love me unconditionally. And it took a one brave soul to lower his pride and ask for forgiveness and love. 

I'm proud of you. I'm proud of us. I don't want nothing else but a family with you. Yes, I want to be your wife and your constant enemy for the rest of your life. I will cook for you, even though you'll say it's not yummy, that your version is better. But then you will finish everything. I will continue to talk to you and make plans and dreams with you. I will support you. I will never leave you. 

Thank you Lowsy for everything. I will never be a person who I am today if not for you. You made me. I'm stronger, wiser and better version of me because I spent most of my happiness and heartaches with you. You broke me, you fixed me. You patched every crooked road of my heart. Til now, you know I'm still healing and recovering. But I want to tell you, my trust is bigger than my love for you. I trust you with all my heart that you'll never again add a break to heart again. 

I will wait for you. I don't mind waiting. We started as a team before, here we are again, working as a team. But we have a different leader now, and it's our Papa Jesus. Leading our life and love. So don't fret, he's always our guidance. I know we can do it. I know we will. So this is the start! Better days! 

I love you so much George Hilario! 

Always and forever..

Xo,

Js

Missing you are like waves. 

And tonight, I'm drowning..

Love who loves you back

2years ago I wrote this.

Same feeling, same person.

Moving on.. Courage on..

Two years ago wrote this in Facebook.

Wonderful. True enough.. Thanks Timehop! 

"I broke you, I'll fix you"

There's always that one person who will always have your heart..

You can only do so much. But everything was perfectly true. You don't ask for anything in return cos you're too afraid to be.. Again, disappointed.

But you're happy. Happiest state that you have missed forever. Felt like it was the first time. Felt like it was all the old times. 

Cos again, he said. This time It will be different. This time he finally knew what he has been looking for for all of his life. That finally he was back on track and inspired to put more effort in stability when it comes to himself and for every aspect of Life and Love.

I am here. Always here for him. 

Though I might sound I don't expect anything this time. I still have this space in my heart that always want him back, over and over again. And putting all my trust as if nothing has been damaged. Maybe that's real love, loving him without conditions. Just loving him until I can. 

"I broke you, I'll fix you"

Words from him, for me to get by.

I just hope this won't stop.

Or if it will in one way or another,

Then do it now. Stop right now.

Right now that maybe ..

Just maybe.. I will still have my powers to go on.. To be happy.. Without him.. Again.

I kept on denying it, But I guess 

I love him yesterday, today and tomorrow. 

Not more or less than 

of any season and reason. 

I just love him.

- JS